We were standing upon what looked like the salt flats that are out west.
A blazing sky of orange and red that told of a new sunrise that was just about to sprout in the distance.
Where have these colors been? They looked new, young, vibrant, and alive.
He took my hand and we began to dance. We danced...
He was wearing a suit. Nice, fitted, pristine... My dress was flowing, white, smooth, silent even as we danced.
We twirled on top of the white sands. The sky still blazing orange and red. A small streak of yellow cut forth upward from where the sun was rising...Was it rising in the west??
"Give me all of you, and I will give you all of me." He stated as we moved within each others arms.
I stopped and looked at him...his eyes.
"But you are...everything." I said quietly. Because he was, and I was nothing. I didn't think it was a fair trade....he would get the worse end of the deal.
He slowed and gazed within me. "And what are you to me?"

Was I everything too? Everything to Him.
How little we realize.....
How much we forget.....

It's tiring. Draining. Sometimes suffocating.
The invasion of voices, the footsteps of war.
So many rumblings that echo loudly and make the earth tremble.
Things that are clear, yet blur into the mist.
I tire from their calls and from their shouts.
Where are they trying to go?

He has been silent for a time now and I miss His voice.
I wonder if he has spoken at all since the others have deafened my ears.
I miss Him.
I see Him, but He isn't facing me. Still looking out into the distant fog.
The fog that surrounds us still.
Motionless and silent, while the sounds span around us.
Lord, how much longer?

It's like a moment that seems to never end.
Stretching out forever.
When will this end?
I only want to see your face again and hear your voice.
Are we forgotten, here in the midst of the clouds.

I feel like running out into it, to escape the unending entrapment.
I feel like lying down to cry.....to die.
I know it will not last.....this will not last, it cannot.
Like winter...it too must pass...
Colors are fading, hues turn pale unto darkened greys.
Is this the beginning or are we closer to the end?
A silence lingers over us as the peals of ramblings coarse around us.
He stares outward, as I huddle down.
I know there is not much time left.
The end is near.

It rumbles up through the soul...a tremor that shakes you and vibrates up your spine and echos in your ears.
It will not be silent and it will not abate.
Continuous...it hums from the fog and does not cease.
What is this?
Feet feel unsteady as you stand awaiting. Constant vibrations.
You look, but you can only see so far in the denseness of the blurred white mist.
Nothing reveals itself, but you know this must be another attempt to break you.
Another try to bring you to your knees.
What is this?

The Lord is closer now.
He stands assuredly and looks beyond to where the fog ends.
He is without fear, without worry.
For He knows this too will pass away.
He stands firm.
I stand with Him as I watch and wait.
Ignoring the sounds that work unending to debilitate me.

They too will fail, as We have already conquered them, even if they do not yet know it.
I breath deep.
The crisp, cool, moist air travels within and braces me.
Alert and awakened.

I hear a scream in the mist.
It howls in agony.
What is this?
He still stands firm beside me, still looking out forward.
"They see." He tells me. "They see and they fear."
I listen and remain quiet. The rumbling, humming, vibrating ground, slows....
It slows... until it too becomes silent.

"Walk with me." He says as He takes a step forward.
I take step with Him...and We enter.

We stood before the oncoming fog for what seemed like ages.
The roars and rumblings of the beasts within slowly crept up through the ground.
We could feel them...their heartbeats...their rage.
We stood waiting upon the fog. Our swords in hand and our attention never divided.
Allies in the midst.
Scattered and perceived as alone, but we were all a part of each other.
He was standing there beside each one of us. Never alone.

The fog, as swift as the night, crept in unaware and surrounded us.
We are within it. Beasts swarm around us and tempt us.
They are tempting us....
They are clouding us....
They refrain from stepping within sword strike distance.
They know what they are doing and they tease us and lure us on blindly.
This fog....is the fog of forgetfulness.
They chant of long lost memories trying to get you to take hold of a past lie.
They circle around like wolves, waiting for you to fall before they attack.

I will not fall.
A battle was fought...and I remember.
I will not forget what He has provided.
He stands within and He steadies my feet, my heart, my soul.
We shall not fall.
We are in the fog, our brethren lost within it too.
But He will stand with them as well.
No falling, as we are here to fight.
We are here to stop them.
These demons. These lies. These devourers.
Fight.

They scatter from us when they see us remember.
Shall they return with another attempt?
Will they call upon the more apt creatures to break us?
This is a war....and we stand ready.
He cannot fall....and He is within us.
We do not know how thick the fog is, how far it spans, but it is here.
Here we will fight.
Always here, and we will fight on until He reveals Himself to them all.
Even the fog won't be able to stand.
It too will bow.

Hold your sword firmly.
War has risen.

This freedom....is difficult.
The first step was not only realizing it, but also the unbinding.
The unbinding has proven to be painful.
Like when you are bound tightly for far too long, then the ropes are cut loose.
Your flesh gives way to the air....and it stings.
You look and see the remnants of your binds and see the discoloration of scars.
You know they will fade, but this fact doesn't ease the inflammation or searing truth.
He has set me free. And it hurts.

Everything around me has turned to dust.
The grey hues blow across the grey ground.
Nothing exists beyond the boundaries of the body.
The wind is scattering all dust, though it makes not a sound, nor do you feel it's breath.
Timeless and set into a non existence, yet alive.

I await His voice amidst the silence.
I am ready. I am silent.
He shall place me in the depths.
Set me apart from the tribes.
Hold me close to His Peace.
Bring me upon the waters.
And cast me deep into the heart.
Follow me. His whisper travels.
I close my eyes....and follow.
My feet cannot take me there.
Only the spirit.
Only the divine.
I go.

Was it sunset again? Or was it sunrise?
The light filled the edge of the distance as I walked towards it.
I found myself deep in the valley.
The slopes glided upward at each side, barren.
I was once afraid of the valley, but I had passed through it without noticing.
The forest was lost behind me and I could only see the tips of far off trees.
The valley was an expanse that seemed to continue on forever behind me.
It was all conquered and found to be nothing but a journey.
I faced back to the light that lingered on the horizon.
It was still cold, but as the light grew brighter and the warm air shined down
I knew it was a new morning.

I always loved the beauty of the mornings.
Filled with hopes for the day, nothing is impossible in these moments.
I smiled.
I stopped myself from looking around me for the one who was with me.
As I knew where He was.
And I stepped forward once again.

What would be beyond the sunrise?
Another mountain maybe?
An ocean?
A desert?
The mountains were struggles, until you came to the top.
But an ocean? What was that? What challenges could it hold?
A desert? I had never been in the desert?

Whatever lied ahead. It too would only be another step closer to where He wanted me to be.
Another step closer to who He wanted me to be, what He wanted me to become.

What had become of my fear? I could no longer recognize it.
He has taken it away and hidden it from my eyes.
Freedom....the gift.
....and I will continue with Him, unafraid of the journey ahead.

It was still dark.....but there was a lingering grayness that covered the air.
It wasn't fog, but the dingy lifeless lack of the living fire.
We still moved forward upon the grassy fields.
Trees still lined my left.
The valley still swallowed the right.
Where were we going?

A light shining like a great star appeared just before me.
I began to cover my eyes from its radiance, but it did not hurt to look upon it.
What is it? I asked Him.
The light that darkness flees from.
The light that removes the fears, the doubts, the pain, the sadness.
It will follow us.

I looked ahead of me, where the wind blew the never-ending grasses before me.
Where I was headed was empty.
As the places that needed the light were on each side of me.
The forest.
There the fear slept, yet watched us from within it's dark confines.
The doubts lingered in the treetops and sneered at us with every breeze.
Across was the valley where pain was buried, yet peered up from the earth.
Sadness and turmoil littered the ground as sharp jagged stones.
They both would need healing, but we could only walk one way.
Here in the grass, they both could see the light, yet they could not feel it.
If I went into the forest the valley would be left in darkness.
If I went down in the valley, the forest would linger in shadow.
But one had to be healed, or none at all....

I yelled into the night.
I yelled into the crisp air.
The yelling in frustration brought forth courage.
He watched me as I fought past my outrage.
I glared at Him.
He wanted me to choose where we would walk.
Wanted me to choose what to conquer.
Needed me to be His guide.
I will take Him with me.
The light will follow.
I faced the forest and stared at it's deep blackness that swallowed the trees.
The wind blew and the treetops screamed.
The fears knew We were headed their way.
The doubts knew We would destroy them.
They screamed.
And I took a step toward them.
A breath, a step. A breath....I ran.
They screamed.
The light followed.

We trekked forward.
Darkness crawled deeper into the distance.
The ground was like stone, with grit and sand. It shifted violently underfoot.
We kept moving forward, ripping a path through the night.
This was only the beginning.

We came to a great field. It was dark, but one could still make out the dry, rough grasses ahead of us.
Rolling hills swallowed up the view before us.
A forest hid itself to our left.
I wasn't ready for the forest.
To our left it sloped downward.
I wasn't prepared for another valley.
So we continued forward through the waves of earth.
Every step echoed out it's demise.
The rocks, the sand, the grass...it cracked beneath us.
I could still see, but I knew it wouldn't be long....

"Do not worry about the light." He said.
"It will shine when it must."
"And do not fear the dark." He said.
"It shall flee, and the creatures therein will rest."
"But they must see us first."He said.
"And they must taste the fruit."

"Where will we go?" I asked.
"Wherever you are." He said.
"Every place is your home. And every song is your music. And every heart is your love.
And every hand is your brother, and every smile is your sister."

The air was cool and crisp.
And damp.
There was a fog lifting off the ground, even though it felt dry beneath my feet.
Rain....
I always loved when it rained.
I breathed in deeply and let the chilled air fill my lungs.
We trekked forward.
Deeper into the darkness.
There will be rain, there will be coldness, there will be fear.
But we will bring the light.
He will give it freely....
Come see what we have and rest.

I sat upon the stone steps.
The horizon spanning across the distance.
Colors of great warmth and beauty radiating the skies.
He was sitting across from me watching the sun set.
We were atop a large hill that gave view to mountains and valleys.
The forest slept behind us as did the broken stone steps that lay crumbled at my feet.

I glanced at the sunset only to quickly look back over to Him.
He hasn't revealed Himself so casually before.
Why was He here on the outside again?
I pondered.

"Have you seen the sunset?" He asked still looking off into the distance.
I looked back over to it. The sun's crescent still shining above the far off mountains.
Skies of orange and purple, some yellow.
It was warm, like a summer's eve.
I turned back to him. "Yes." What more could I say.
"Soon, the light will fade and the darkness will rise." He stated.
"Then what will you do?
....I paused, as I had no answer.
"We could give a light to the darkness, just like a star." He said....
"But, they will all come after you, both the good and the evil. As you will stand out upon the night."
I breathed deeply, as I had mentioned being a star before, but even that would have it's dangers.
"What will we do when they come?" I asked, already confirming I had accepted.
"We will show them things that may bring devastation. We will show them things that will cause great quakes in their souls. We will show them things that will flood their lives. We will set fire to their hearts......." He paused. "And after it is finished, we will rebuild them and We will show them hopes upon hopes. We will show them Love. We will show them Us. And they will see God and know His name."

I hunched over into my hands. Tears screaming from my eyes.
It was awful. It was great. It was perfect.
But I was afraid. There are many things in the darkness.
And it would not just help them see, but it would also affect me.

"I will be there with you." He said quietly.
"As it will be My light that they see. And none shall touch you. But it is you who must walk."

I wiped my tears, my heart still racing.
I looked again at the sunset, the last sliver was setting the mountain's top on fire.
And it was gone.
"Then let the night pass swiftly." I whispered as I stood.

Do you cry?
Do you find yourself reaching out to them?
Why do they look away? Why?
They step forward into death and they fall....
They are gone.
Why do they turn away from you?
Please make them wake up.

Because I cry.
I reach out to them.
But still, they turn away.
They step forward and fall.
They scream so loud they cannot hear us.
I plead to them.
Still they are lost.
Please...please wake up.

I will not forget them.
I will not stop reaching.
I will not stop pleading.
And I will forever cry.
Will there be no end?
Until then, my tears will never cease.
You keep refilling them......
Please....save them.

Your hand...it spans across the distance.
Reaching ready to grasp any who would only place their hand into yours.
Why do they not just take your hand?
Please......how do we wake them?
How do we make them hear...make them see?
I do not want to lose them to the darkness.


Lord.
How hard it must be for you.
I can barely stand it. And it's only a small part of what I have seen.
A small group of them waiting in line to enter the cold. The dark.
How much more you see than I.
How much more you must suffer to see them turn away.

Stop hurting my Lord.
Please. We suffer.
We all suffer.
There is not enough energy to express the pain and sorrow that comes with watching people choosing to die.
Choosing to turn away.
Choosing to forget.
Choosing to fall.
There are so many.

Please....

We spoke again.
Had it been so long ago since the time before.
I know things had to change to the way they are....
and I know why too...
but I missed Your face, even though I had You with me the whole time.
Thank you for speaking with me.
Assuring me that things are perfect.
Things will remain perfect.
And there will be no fear.

It's like a new energy.
Knowing You are here.
Knowing that even though it has to be different from the rest of the world...
that it is Your perfection. My perfection in the making.

Silly the things are which we unknowingly pick up.
Whether they be rocks, or thoughts, or possible fears.
But you keep helping me let them go, as in all things.
We must let them all go.
And it is a beautiful thing. Letting go.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I found myself on the stone stairs. They rose up the hillside.
Stone walls on each side beckoning for me to continue.
Trees of a dense forest littered the ground above the walls.
This was the path that was carved out for me, and only me.
Behind me every stone step had been broken and cracked so none could follow.
The wilderness grew in around the stones further down.
Ahead of me, up the stairs, the steps were as new, just waiting for me to use them.
Placed there for some divine reason.
I look around me, looking for you yet again.
Hoping I would see your face, but you are not present on the outside.
I look within.
There you are. Ever glowing from within, like a warm candle.
And I take a step forward, keeping my eyes on the top of the hill where the steps end.
What is up there?
I see the light of the day, brightness.
Is something waiting for me? Someone perhaps?
I take another step....
I'm coming.

There, like a flash of brilliance. Beauty danced on your fingertips.
Gentle, savage radiance. Lightning scarred the black sky.
Are these your works? Your works that with a glimmer, a minute sight that only lasts for a sparse moment.
Like Lightning, we often see only it's greatness for a time, for a small fraction of time.
A small distant glint of Your face.
Only for a moment.
Then it is dead, the blackness covers what glory was once devouring the sky.

There are some in this world who are like Lightning.
They only let us see His Love for a moment.
For a second.
For a breathe.
Then we are left again to wonder in darkness, without the hope of seeing His face.
Why do they disappear back into their caves?
Are they ashamed to reveal Your Glory?
Are they afraid to dine with Your Love?


I do not want to be the Lightning.
I do not want to just give them savagery, or grace.
No.
Let me be a star.
Burning. Blazing. Set afire.
Where they will take note of the Light.
Watch it dance in the darkness, but never fading.
To lead them back to You.
To help them find their way.
To be a sign.
Burning. Blazing. Set afire and setting fire to their hearts.
Let them see Your Love.
Never fading like the Sun.
Never hiding like the Son.
Make me a star. Your star.
Burning. Blazing. Set afire and setting fire.
Let them hide in their caves.
We will shine down, continually, never-ending.
Never-ending like Your Love.
Let it burn them into Life.

It was just the other day.
It was only again last night.
The simplest, rarest, rawest forms.
The greatest was the least. The least was the greatest. How marvelous it was.
Could it even be described, other than beauty, other than grace.
I was in the midst with you and there He was, speaking as one of Us.
His words, Your words....the simplest. Everything is answered upon the words that soar from His lips.
We are together. All of Us, and even Him too. I love you all.

What else am I to do?
There in the deepness, I smile.
It's like waking just before the sunrise when the light looms just over the mountain but you have yet to see it, yet you can feel it's promised arrival.
Is this the redemption? Is this the hope?
I'm smiling, yet I don't know why. I want to hug Him.
The excitement radiates, I can feel the frequencies vibrating on the inside. To sit still is impossible, as the only thought is to jump up and dance, smile, and praise Him.
What is it that approaches? What is it? Who is it?
We shall rise to meet it with arms wide open.
My Lord, let the sun rise, let it rise.

The lightning crackled, thunder roared like a lion. The earth shook. The tremble rippled through the body.
They called out in the darkness, with flashing lights outside.
"The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords."
They spoke, so loud that one would think to cover the ears, but knowing it wouldn't have silenced them. They were calling out.
"The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords."
The thunder pounded into the flesh. The lightning danced in awesome grace. There was no blindness, no fear, only awe.
"The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords." They chanted.

How long did they go on? Only moments unto eons. Time was lost in the midst of the great and beautiful storm, the beautiful song.
The eons passed, the moments passed. All fell silent again. The winds blew, swirling, twirling. The lightning calmed and the thunder rested.
Their short visit was now over, they had gone.

What have they done? Where have they gone?
My Lord, I heard them in that night.

Have you ever felt the power?
The raw nature and life of it?
Everything is possible.

But, still, deep within, it is still lost.
Not the power, not the love, not the desire, but the choice and direction is lost.
There is no wrong choice.
Yet, still. The struggle goes on to find something to conquer.
Shadows cover what will be defeated.
Where, Lord? Which way shall we go? I cannot see.
Still the shadow lingers.
My choice is into the shadows....through them...they will scatter, they will flee.
But I feel without focus, without a target.

Perhaps no target is needed.
I will still walk towards these shadows, although I know not what to do other than be present, we will walk, and they will fall.
We will slaughter them, for that can be their only fate....death.
The power makes you want to run. The love makes you want to dance. The life that makes you want to live.
Still the choice is ours on how to live it.
There is no wrong choice.

I saw the dark clouds. The storm in the distant skies.
The clouds swirling in rage. The darkened center breathing with the winds.
A flash of lightning, lighting the crisp edges of the great cloud.
It is coming.
I can smell the freshness of the air. Chilled in sweet dampness.
It draws closer.
I wait in the field.

Yet again, He sits there before me.
I smile upon Him, for it feels as it has been too long since our last meeting. I missed Him.
A great peace, a great journey. I smile again knowing that this storm has already been defeated. It has already passed within me though it still makes its way towards us.
A beautiful storm is coming.
A beautiful storm.

Just wait....for when this storm has passed, the sun will rise as never before.
It will be blessed.
And it will be my life.
Thank you for the storm, thank you for sharing in it with me.

There is a peace. Placed high on the threshold.
It is not hope that is clings to, no. Hope clings to it.
Softness, stillness, yet a gentle breeze floats across it.
A quite breathing. Gentle whispers.
It's like laying your head on His chest.
No fear, nothing can harm you there. Nothing can disturb you.
Feel His breath. Feel the warmth. It is painful to pull away.

So many worlds mixed within the one that is real, but I need them all.
All.
There with Him. Here with them. And the other, with them too. I will not give any of them up.
Yet, still...deep in the abyss....who is there? Just me, only me, and it is the sad recognition that all that I hold dear could fall away so easily. Is it possible to have them all forever? Is it? Or is it another dream.
Love... they all contain it, yet what is love if there is not loss.
Save me.

Anger ripples.
Not at any one, but at the vastness of ignorance. The immense population who have corrupted that which is pure and hast made it undetectable.
I am saddened that they have tortured and deformed the truth.
Covered the bright stars with lies and illusions.
Smothered life with their fears and close-mindedness.
Wake up my friends, arise my brothers. See past the clouded skies. Look upon the darkened blackness and jump.
All that you think to be true let if be carried away by the winds of revealing. For the only truth is that which you know to be true....there is a difference between what you think and what you know.
If you wouldn't die for it a thousand times, and die again, and again, then you only think it, let it flee from you. It is only the deceit your brethren have fed you.
To know it, is more than you can even speak of, for the mind is silenced in its peace.

I watched it float from my fingers, shattered in small pieces, as the wind carried it up and scattered it across the sky until it was no more. Only the memory of its passing remains. What it was, I can recall, though I no longer contemplate a way to make it true, to make it fit...because it won't....because it doesn't.
Fairy tales are just that. Even if they are about your spirit, your religion, your dreams. I care not to save you from the pain you must one day feel in order to grow.
No, I'd rather you feel it all. Suffer it all.
Let go.
Do you think He will forsake you?
Release Him, release God, release all that you think about Him. Release your hope for Him to come carry you up in a cloud and take you to a happy place. Release that entire thought and every other thought you think you know.
Release everything...and I will tell you, all that will be left is the truth, His truth.
Do you fear?
Fear is not real, it is only what is present when you lack faith.

You can not have everything until you have nothing. That includes your preconceived ideals, opinions, thoughts, and hopes.
What is true, is. And you can have it if you let all go.
He is there.
Clearly, in the light. And just as the sun rises on earth, there is a sunrise of your soul, and when you get to that place....heaven is where you will be.